Lustful Love
by Rai - Chan 16
Summary: Ritsuka and Soubi show their TRUE feelings...
1. Lust or Love

------I really wish I knew how he felt. He said he would take my ears, yet he still hasn't... Is he lying to me when he says he loves me?  
Does he care, just not want to tell me? Too many questions!------

Ritsuka slammed his fist down on the desk... He wanted to cry...

"Oh Soubi... Why?" Ritsuka thought aloud.

His ears perked up when he heard shuffling behind him. He got up and went towards the window.

"Soubi?" Ritsuka pulled back his curtain, but only watched the rain fall, as the sun continued to fade behind the mountains in the distance. Shrugging and closing the sliding door; Ritsuka turned to see Soubi sitting on his bed.

"Why hello there, Ritsuka." Soubi took another drag from his cigarrette.

"SOUBI!" Ritsuka screamed. Running over to Soubi, wrapping his arms around him, but the force making him fall atop Soubi. They layed together staring into each others eyes. Soon though, Soubi couldn't handle it anymore. (His pants had tightened increasingly since Ritsuka fell on him.) He kissed Ritsuka!

At first Ritsuka wanted to pull back, but he also wanted Soubi so bad. He soon let out a sigh, and his body fell into Soubi's. As they began kissing each other over and over.

Oh my god! Am I actually doing this? Is Soubi? Will he finally rid me of these damned ears?!

Ritsuka felt his body pushed, and felt all his breath leave his body. He opened his eyes to find that Soubi had flipped them, and now Ritsuka was on bottom.

"Sou..." Ritsuka's voice trailed off as Soubi removed his shirt. Soubi started to move his hands down Ritsuka's chest. When he got to the pants... He started to undo them. He felt Ritsuka jump, and stopped.

"Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, concerned.

Ritsuka looked up at him nervously. He bit his lip, which only made Soubi want him more.

"Soubi... I..." He couldn't speak. So caught up in what was happening...

------Am I ready for this? Is it time to lose my ears? Should I wait,  
until I'm older like Soubi said? NO!------

Ritsuka played the events over in his head, and realized that turning back was NOT an option. He sighed, and pulled Soubi down to him. Ritsuka started to kiss him once more.

------Soubi's heart was beating a million times a minute... He didn't think Ritsuka was ready for this, but what could he do? Ritsuka held all the contol in this.  
Whatever he said went... And he told him that he wanted his ears gone by tonight!------

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OHHH! cliffhanger!!! What do you think is going to happen next? Read the next Chapter to find out... Hope you like it so far... More to come! )  
- Alex


	2. Over CAME

IF YOU DO NOT LIKE MAN ON MAN SEX DO NOT READ THIS!!!

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Feeling his pants being pulled; Ritsuka pushed his body into Soubi's. Allowing his pants to slip off more easily. They kept kissing as Soubi's hand moved down his chest... Down his waist...

---

Soubi's hand wrapped around Ritsuka's groin, and started to move his hand up and down. Ritsuka let a small moan escape his lips. Not in all his life did he experience something like this. Whatever Soubi was doing... It made Ritsuka have a hard time breathing. He closed his eyes allowing Soubi to proceed with what he was doing, when he felt Soubi shift... He started to kiss down his chest.

Soubi moved farther down his body, and soon was at Ritsuka's waist. He started to kiss farther down, and when he stopped so did his hand. Soubi's hand started to move slowly once more, as he put his mouth around Ritsuka's tip. Slowly Soubi removed his hand, as he put Ritsuka farther and farther in his mouth.

Ritsuka wanted to watch Soubi, but ecstasy overcame him, and his head fell back on the pillow. Ritsuka's hands were going white from tightening so much on the sheets. His body jumped as he felt Soubi's tongue start to get in on the action.

---

Ritsuka couldn't helped it anymore. He burst in Soubi's mouth! Releasing all the air in his lungs. Ritsuka let out a long moan of satisfaction.

------

Soubi payed no heed to any of this. He swallowed the liquid, but his head moved up and down whilst he pleasured Ritsuka.

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HAHAHA Tell me what you think... :) thank you...


	3. Distracted

First I want to say thanks for the reviews, its what keeps me going... Hope you like the new chapter :)

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He wanted to know what was happening to him. So much pleasure. He couldn't take it anymore. Ritsuka felt his whole body overwhelmed with pleasure. What was happening?

"Oh Soubi." Ritsuka sighed... His eyelids felt heavy against his eyes, soon they closed.

---

Soubi slowly lifted his head, and wiped his mouth against his sleeve. He watched the sleeping Ritsuka carefully. Soubi tried to get up, but not wake Ritsuka. His hand pushed softly against the matress as he pulled himself up.

Soubi got on Ritsuka's computer while the child slept. He knew that he had just lied to Ritsuka, but what could he do. Soubi did not think that he was old enough to lose his ears; no matter what Ritsuka said! Soubi concentrated on the computer instead of what he had just done. He knew if Ritsuka realized what had happened, he would be furious, but he saved that thought in the back of his head until the time came for him to deal with it.

---I know that he will be furious, but what can I do. Ritsuka can't lose his ears! He just can't... Eleven years old, was not old enough, and niether is 13.  
I don't know what I'm going to do. Ritsuka is going to kill me when he realizes he still has his ears... But I just... I love him to much to hurt him... I wish he knew how I cared...---

Soubi jumped as he heard Ritsuka shift on the bed. He looked back at him from the corner of his eyes, and saw him jolt straight up in the bed. Soubi turned quickly, but Ritsuka was already on him...

"YOU LIAR!" Ritsuka screamed.

"MY EARS ARE STILL HERE! IT IS NOW A NEW DAY, AND THEY ARE STILL HERE!"

"Ritsuka clam down... Let me explain..." Soubi jumped out of the chair, and hit the table. He was trying to get away from Ristuka just incase he got angry enough to hit him.

"Ritsuka..."

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU LIED!" Ritsuka threw the computer chair across the room.

---Oh my god... I knew it would come to this... He'll never want to see me. I'll never be able to help him... Hold him... Care for him...---

"Ritsuka? Whats going on in there?" Ritsuka's mum started to slam on his door.

She was trying to open it, but it was locked...

"RITSUKA OPEN THE DOOR!" she screamed.

"No mother... This is my problem go away please..."

Ritsuka picked the chair up, and opened his sliding door. Looking at Soubi, who understood completely. Walking over with his head down, he went out onto the balcony.

Soubi turned around to talk to Ritsuka, to try to explain, but it was slammed in his face.  
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OHHH... Will Soubi and Ritsuka ever speak again? You'll just have to wait and find out! i love leaving cliff hangers lol... :) Review .. thanks :)


	4. Longing

When I'm thinking of you,

and all the things we can do

----I can't understand why you don't love me. I've done everything I can for you, but I guess it don't matter... Nothing can change what you just did to me. I can't believe you lied... This is the end Soubi. No more will I fall for you. I can't stand this.----

Patience is a game

and every night I say your name,

Hoping that you'll answer

'cause I'm going insane.

---I sit up every night thinking about you and how much I care. But I guess you don't so it doesn't really matter.. Nothing I do will change it, will it? You can't hear me can you? I say your name, but oh well. You have better things to do...---

You brought me out of control,

Hungry for your love

and like I know what that might be

...Ritsuka hit the table. His soup went all over the place, but he doesn't care. He just wants Soubi, and Soubi lied.

"I hate him. I hate him so much!"

He was trying to convince himself of hating Soubi, but it wasn't possible. Too much was put into this. He just didn't want to have to let go...

'Cause when I'm thinking of you,

And all the things we could do,

my heart is pumping for love

you left me longing for you

---I just want you, but I just don't understand anything. You just think I'm this little kid who knows nothing about love. Look at what you did to me. I'm longing for something I know shall never happen. And it shouldn't, but I want it to. I want you Soubi. I want you... ALL of you...---

Teasing was the thing

and now I just can't let it go

you were something no-one else needs to know

I guess I'm thinking of you,

like I would know what to do

when I found you, but I don't

have got no clue

...Ritsuka got tears in his eyes, but blinked them out. He didn't want to cry.

---He is not worthy of my tears. Nothing will make me want him back...---

He started to think about all the things that Soubi use to do. Tease him for the fun of seeing him smile. Ritsuka missed him, but nothing will change all the lies he had said...

/----- HAHA Yea... The song is Paris to Berlin by Infernal. I like it, it is on one of my friends myspace. And it just so goes with this. Lol. NEXT CHAPTER! Hope you liked :) ----/


	5. Please Let Me Try

---Why did I do this... I can't believe this.---

Soubi dropped his keys, and was so shaky that he didn't know if he would ever get in his house.

"Come the fuck on! This is getting ridiculous. He is just a kid, I shouldn't even have feelings for him." Soubi got more tears.

His eyes were red and swollen, from crying... Soubi was having such a hard time to not break down, that he couldn't even handle getting into his house. Soon he just gave up. Left his keys on the mat, and walked away...

So on my own

I feel so all alone

Though I know it's true

I'm still in love with you

---You are my everything, but I guess it just doesn't matter. You don't want anything to do with me. I'll never come back. You said you loved me too. Does none of it matter? You can't hear me. Why do I even try...---

It started to rain, and Soubi just kept walking. Didn't know where he was going, but oh well... His day couldn't get any worse. Besides the rain was just hiding his tears...

One day you'll see it can happen to me

I need a miracle

I wanna be yours

Give me a chance to see

---I just wanted to show you everything I could be. But nothing will change the nothing I have become... I'm just confused, and I can't stand this pain. Please just wait for me to work it out, so we can be together forever...---

"Do I even mean any of this?"

Soubi started to confuse himself, as he stood staring into the sky... He didn't even know what he was saying. Ritsuka was now annoyed with being taken for granted. Which was just what Soubi was doing... But I guess nothing matters anymore... It's all over for them, right?

---I don't know what he wants from me. But right now I just can't give him all that much...---

Day and night I'm always by your side

Cause I know for sure

My love is real my feelings pure

So take a try

No need to ask me why

Cause I know its true

I'm still in love with you

---I'll be by you forever. I hope I'll be in your heart as well... I guess I can just pray for you to love me once again like you did when I could make you smile like no one else ever could.---

Soubi sunk down to the ground... This is the end... Or was it?

---- :):):):):):):) Is it the end of both of them, or will they ever get back to the way things were? Guess you'll have to read on to find out :) The song on here is Miracle by Cascada. LOVE that song. Thanks for the reviews hope you like these chapters too :)


	6. Never Seeing

"Soubi!" Ritsuka ran outside. He looked around hoping he would see Soubi somewhere... The rain had started to clear, but it was still foggy outside.

"Soubi! I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking... I don't hate you, please come back!"

He screamed into the deserted streets. Ritsuka's voice was being drowned out by the train passing. He just wished he hadn't sent Soubi away. What could possibly be settled by not having the one you love by your side.

Soubi couldn't hear him. He was too far away. Trying to find a way to control the depression sinking deep within himself... Soubi didn't want to and didn't mean to hurt Ritsuka. Nothing in his life was more important to him than that boy...

---

"Soubi?" Kio called, as he started to walk towards him.

Soubi!" Kio started to run, as Soubi fainted from exhaustion. He had been up all night thinking of Ritsuka, and now it finally got to him, and he fainted in the middle of the street. A car skidded to a halt, when he saw someone fall.

Kio rushed over to him, and shook Soubi. "Soubi wake up!"

Soubi opened his eyes, but couldn't say anything. He started to fall back into his slumber. Kio lifted him up, and put Soubi's arm over his shoulder. "Come on Soubi. We are going home now." He carried him toward the sidewalk, when Soubi moaned.

"No! I have to see Ritsuka! He needs me." Soubi jumped, and started running in the direction of where he thought he heard the voice of his beloved one call for him.

"Soubi! You're just tired. Come back!" He stared off as Soubi got farther and farther away from him. Tears came to his eyes, when Kio realized that he wasn't going to come back. Soubi loved Ritsuka, talked about him all the time, and Kio knew there was nothing he could do or say that would make him realize that the boy was too young for him. Trying to make Soubi love him, was utterly impossible ever since Ritsuka came into the picture.

Kio hated the boy for that, but there was nothing he could do. "Soubi... Why can't you see that I need you..." He whispered to himself as he stumbled off towards his house. A little disoriented from all the tears that were blurring his vision…


	7. Truly and Sadly

Now this next part starts with a poem I wrote for a guy I like, but I think it goes with the plot, and the story itself so I'm using it here too :) I hope you like it. 

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy it.

AJ

P.S.

Poem is titled "Truly and Sadly"

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_**Can't help but stare into darkness,  
Hoping you'll walk through.  
Hold me in your arms,  
Care for me like I do you. **_

_**Your smile makes my heart skip a beat,  
Your voice sends a shiver down my spine.  
I get so quiet; I can hardly breath,  
Just hoping soon I can make you mine.**_

_**Dreaming of you day and night,  
No matter, you can make me smile.  
Ever time I see or talk to you,  
I feel as if I am on a never ending trial.**_

_**Hoping you'll push past it,  
I'll just sit here and wait for you.  
Because the sparkle in my eye,  
Comes from everything you do.**_

_**I don't know if you see it,  
But I am doing all I possibly can.  
To show you everything I could be,  
And everything that I am...**_

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"I need you. more than anything..." Ritsuka cried, as he fell to his knees in the middle of the street. His eyes were filling with tears, but he didn't care anymore. The sun was slowly fading to the West as Ritsuka sat there. Soon it was pitch dark outside. All he could do was look straight ahead into the darkness hoping to god that Soubi still loved him, and would come running to him. "Soubi..." He sighed and tilted his head down once more.

"It's ok Ritsuka. I'm here." Someone said, as a dark shadow started to take form when it walked through the darkness towards Ritsuka.

Soubi pulled Ritsuka into his arms, and they just sat in the middle of the road. Ritsuka wrapped himself around Soubi, and cried. Soubi pulled him tighter into him to try to keep him warm as his body shook once more. "You have to go home Ritsuka. You will freeze out here. Soaking wet as you are. Come on, I'll go with you." Soubi pulled Ritsuka up. Wobbling a bit, Ritsuka finally stood straight, and looked around. He started walking in the direction he believed he lived, but he couldn't remember from everything that had happened today.

Soubi layed Ritsuka on his bed, and pulled the covers over him. He had been walking the wrong way so Soubi carried him home, and Ritsuka fell asleep in his arms. He kissed his forehead. "I love Ritsuka." Soubi whispered into the sleeping cat - boy's ear. Ritsuka stirred at this, but just turned over and went back to sleep.


	8. Dreams of Mine

-------- Dream World in Ritsuka's Mind --------

_"Ritsuka!" Soubi called, as he ran around the field. Looking all over the place. Him and Ritsuka were playing Hide and Seek, but Soubi still wasn't able to find the happy boy. Today was his birthday, and Soubi swore he would make it the best ever. Nothing had made Ritsuka happier than see Soubi. Especially when he smiled. It made Ritsuka's heart skip a beat and he loved it. And when he spoke, oh when Soubi spoke to Ritsuka in that sweet, deep, delicate voice of his... It sent a shiver down his spine._

_Right now Ritsuka was hiding behind a bush, as Soubi passed him. He jumped out, and wrapped his arms on Soubi's shoulders from behind. "Hi." Ritsuka said in Soubi's ear._

_Soubi turned round, and round. "Oh no. Ritsuka where are you!?" He yelled, knowing full well he was on his back. "I'm not Ritsuka. I'm your conscience. Telling you, that if you do not take care of Ritsuka the right way..." His voice trailed off into a whisper, and Soubi stopped dead in his tracks, starting to smile. He tumbled over and burst out laughing._

_They rolled around in the grass for a little bit, but when the sun started to fade, they watched it together, as Soubi held Ritsuka. Then they looked at the stars together. "Did you have a good birthday?" Soubi asked. _

_Ritsuka looked up at him smiling, and nodded. "Good I'm glad." Soubi smiled back, and kissed Ritsuka on the forehead. Ritsuka looked at Soubi still smiling, when he moved in quickly and kissed him on the lips. Soubi was shocked at first, but then pulled Ritsuka in to him, and made the kiss more passionate._

--------- Real World ---------

Soubi heard Ritsuka shift in bed and looked back over to him. The boy had moved and now he was on his side, but was smiling? "Wonder what is making him so happy." Soubi thought aloud, and went back to looking at the computer hoping he could find something more on Ritsuka's dead brother Seimei.

Ritsuka didn't know what Soubi was up to, and he had to keep it that way so Ritsuka didn't freak out more that Soubi was keeping more secrets from him.

--------- Dream World Again ---------

_They continued to kiss, as Soubi turned them over and landed on top of Ritsuka. Ritsuka could feel himself tighten at this, but just kept on kissing Soubi. He didn't want this to end; he loved Soubi. _

_"I love you, Ritsuka." Soubi pulled away, and looked at him intently. "I just need you to know that no matter what happens I always love you. Alright?"_

_Ritsuka looked confused, but he nodded. "I love you too, Soubi. No matter what fights erupt between us. I will never hate you. I never could hate you... Even though sometimes I get angry. You're the only one who really cares about me." Ritsuka leaned up and kissed Soubi once more._

_"Oh Ritsuka..." Soubi kissed him more, moving down his body... As Soubi moved down Ritsuka and started to undo his pants, Ritsuka thought he could hear Soubi in his head calling his name..._

--------- Real World Once More ---------

"Ritsuka. Hey you got to wake up hun." Soubi kept shaking him. Ritsuka just smiled some more and rolled over again. "Ritsuka!" Soubi got loud.

Ritsuka slowly opened his eyes, and groaned. "What?" He mumbled. "You need to get up, or you will miss school."

Ritsuka shot straight up, and looked at the clock. He jumped out of bed. "Why did you let me sleep?" Ritsuka was exsaperated. He was trying to change into his uniform quickly since he was already late. "I'm sorry. It looked like you were having a good dream so I didn't want to disturb you." Ritsuka stopped dead in his tracks... He thought back to the dream... Yea it was great... "Ritsuka."

Ritsuka looked up. He grabbed his books. Kissed Soubi, and ran out his door. His mother started to scream at him, but he just slammed the door in her face. Soubi closed Ritsuka's bedroom door (making sure to lock it, so his mum didn't know Soubi was there.), and sat at the computer chair. He scratched his head. Ritsuka was unusually cheery this morning... It must have been a really good dream. Soubi smiled, and went back on the computer, this time playing Solitare :)

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**Tell me what ya thynk lovelys :):):):):):):):):)**


	9. Sleepless End

_**Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet **_

Ritsuka just sat with his head on his desk. The teacher was talking about something, but he wasn't paying attention. He had realized what he had done when he went off to school. Ritsuka had kissed Soubi. On the lips! After everything Soubi did to him, did he really just want to forgive him. Just like that. Ritsuka took to much from Soubi. Always left alone in the night to cry... Tears started to form in his eyes, just by thinking about it.

_**  
All the feelings that I get  
But I still don't miss you yet **_

_**Only when I stop to think about it**_

_**I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you**_

_'I understand if you don't love me.' _Ritsuka said to himself. "I just wish you wouldn't lie." He accidently said aloud. The teacher stopped in her tracks, and slammed her ruler on his desk. Ritsuka jumped straight up. Saw that the teacher was staring at him, but just shrugged and put his head back down...He didn't care anymore. He loved Soubi, but he didn't feel the same... Or did he hate him?

_**Only when I stop to think  
About you, I know  
Only when you stop to think  
About me, do you know**_

_**I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
You hate everything about me  
Why do you love me**_

------- Ritsuka's Point of View --------

_I guess I'll never figure it out... You are so confusing. I do hope you think of me though... Anywhere near how much I think of you though, probably not... I love you so much Soubi... I hope soon you see everything I could be for you. I just want you to know I love you, but I guess none of it matters cause I'll never get the chance to be with you, unless soon you can see that I'm just not a little kid. I know what love is. And I know that I LOVE YOU!_

------- Out of Ritsuka's Mind ---------

Soubi couldn't read Ritsuka's thoughts, but we all can be sure he loved him just as much. Ritsuka could never get out of Soubi's head he loved him too much. and if it erupted into fighting... Soubi would try all he could to help him... Even though Ritsuka would hold a grudge, soon he would get over it...

One of the reasons that Kio hated him SO much. Was because no matter what Soubi did, Ritsuka always wanted him to come running back. He couldn't live without Soubi, but Kio didn't matter. That's why he wanted to form the dark plan...

_**I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you**_

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**Hope you liked it :) Review and tell me so I could write some more... The song lyrics on here are "(I Hate) Everything About You" by Three Days Grace. Well hope you liked it.**

**Thank you for all your reviews and suport; leave me some more, because they are my motivation to even get up to THIS many chapters. Well thank you for reading. I'll keep you updated!!!**

**AJ**


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